Geeky Cinephile Musings…
I don't pontificate, I blather.

Ladyhawke. What the fuck is the draw here?

How do I hate thee, Ladyhawke? Let me count the ways…

  1. A TERRIBLE, and I mean TERRIBLE 80’s soundtrack pervades the first half of the movie, with absolutely NO connection to what is occurring.
  2. Same terrible soundtrack suddenly and inexplicably disappears halfway through the film and turns to more appropriate, medieval sounding, classical music.
  3. None of your characters inspire compassion or caring in me. 
  4. Your hero, “Mouse,” keeps lying back and forth for no discernible reason between Isabeau and Navarre, making them jealous and confused, until he suddenly becomes a saint willing to risk his life for their love…and why is that again?
  5. Your other hero, Navarre, is pretty much a bastard.  Straight up.  I cannot for the life of me understand why Isabeau loves him and these two strangers are willing to risk so much so that he can bang his woman again. 
  6. Isabeau, while strong and lovely (classic Michelle Pfeiffer) nevertheless leaves me cold.  The only person I actually came to care for was the ex-lush Monk who helps save the day.  (Although as badly as Navarre treats him throughout the entire movie, I would’ve left him and his damned hawk lady in the dust long ago.)
  7. The plot holes are so enormous I had to back away from the TV for fear of falling in.

This movie is not worth me continuing this rant.  Someone please defend this here.  Make me understand why it was rated 3.7 stars on Netflix, and people were raving about it being such a brilliant fantasy film, and blah blah.

Make me understand. I beg you.

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