Geeky Cinephile Musings…
I don't pontificate, I blather.

Ummm…did I miss something?

As many of you know, I worked in VisArt Video store for years.  While I was there, a blockbuster film starring Kevin Costner emerged on video, and it rented CONSTANTLY.  That film was Tin Cup.  People loved this film.  I had not yet seen it, and I would repeatedly have our clients, many of them who were pretty trustworthy in their tastes, tell me,

“Oh man, you haven’t seen Tin Cup yet?!? You gotta see it! It’s a great film.  A total romantic comedy for those who don’t like romantic comedies!”

Which, by the way, I do take mild offense at.  What is wrong with a romantic comedy? Sure, they can be mind-bogglingly  formulaic.  They are predictable, and they are often unrealistic and sappy.  BUT! You get the right chemistry and a decent script, and you got yourself a fan in me, regardless of the aforementioned cons.  Or just Sandra Bullock.  If Sandra Bullock is in it, it’s bound to be at least decent.

Moving on…fast forward over a decade later.  Some schmuck at my building gets evicted, and Paul and I get our little mitts on his DVDs.  (And before you start to say we’re vultures picking at his property bones, lemme tell you this—he TRASHED our old apartment, didn’t pay rent, and left it so filthy we had to personally haul out 10 bags of garbage.  Those DVDs are cleaning payment, as far as I’m concerned.)  Tin Cup was in the collection.  I am going to sell it anyway, but I thought, “Hey, let’s give this a go.” 

Well, there’s (checking IMDB)–holy SHIT–135?!? minutes of my life I’ll never get back. 

Wait, hold on.

135 minutes?!?!?!?! Seriously!??!?!? Fuck.

About halfway through, I found myself blurting out to Paul, “You know what? This movie sucks!” Paul threw me a terse, “Ah noh!” (He’s Scottish) Kevin Costner is normally a pretty sexy guy.  Heck, I love Bull Durham.  In this film though, he’s dirty, sweaty, pig-headed, constantly swigging a small whisky bottle, and yet we’re supposed to go along with the idea that Renee Russo can’t resist him? Um. Sure.

The writing is atrocious, the characters poorly drawn, and the plot is predictable.  Normally I’m okay with this.  I get it–it’s a romantic comedy.  But there are really no redeeming qualities.  Even the chemistry, which is okay at best, is stunted when you have scenes like the hideously-unsexy-sex-in-an-RV-while-my-best-friend-pounds-on-the-side-like-we’re-in-a-college-dorm-room…shudder.

The only thing I liked about the film was the fact that, in the end, Costner’s character is saying, “Well, what DID I learn?” It wasn’t saying, “Hey, what did I learn?” It was saying, “Hey, sometimes films don’t need a point.”

Yeah, you’re right.  Well written ones don’t. 

Oh wait, there was one other cool thing.  It was partially shot in North Carolina, and they ate at a Waffle House. 

What, don't you wanna piece o' this? BUUURRRRRRP!!


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