Geeky Cinephile Musings…
I don't pontificate, I blather.

A total waste of two hours…Garden State

I gotta say, I didn’t expect much of this movie, and I wasn’t disappointed.  Throughout the entire film I kept saying to Paul, “this just feels like a whole bunch of scenes some guy thought would be cool in a film.”  Like, “Hey, wouldn’t it be great to have this guy wake up on the couch and see, like, a knight walking through his friend’s kitchen? Haha! That would be hiLARious, dude!!” (Bong noise) Then I watch the special features and discover that Zach Braff wrote this in fits and spurts about five years prior to shooting it.  Yup. We got that, Zach–disjointed script, check!

Natalie Portman did a good job–actually there is some EXTREMELY talented actors in this film, and they all tried their damnedest to make this script not be cliche, but it just..was.  The parts where it’s trying to be quirky fail miserably and the parts that are humorous or touching are obvious accidents.  It was all style with no substance.  Braff LO-Ho-HOVES (and subsequently beats to DEATH) the shot where he’s sitting on a couch with matching wall paper behind him or whatever and symmetrical lamps on either side of his head.  Big whoop.  Wes Anderson kicks Braff’s ass with this kind of framing, and he does a kung fu neck punch on Braff when it comes to writing a good script. 

But the framing was just about the only thing interesting in this film.  How in the world can you have Ian Holm in your film and not use him?!!? He honestly could have been played by any elderly actor.  This is Ian HOLM, for God’s sake.  Show a little respect.

Okay, I could go on and on, but I won’t, cos this film wasn’t worth it.  If you feel like you wanna watch this film, just find a cool coffee table picture book and flip through it while listening to angsty, soul-searching, singer-guitarists.  Same effect.

Maybe if I blend into this wall they won't see how bad my script truly is...

Maybe if I blend into this wall they won't see how bad my script truly is...

3 Responses to “A total waste of two hours…Garden State”

  1. While I didn’t hate it, I remember seeing Garden State, thinking to myself “That was cute,” and then forgetting about it entirely. Maybe I didn’t hate it because I’ve written similar cutesy little scenes in my head all the time. Granted, I understood there was no plot to attach to these random scenes and that they are therefore kind of pointless; seeing this movie made me realize that folks can get away with that sort of thing afterall (for better or for worse). And maybe I didn’t give it another thought because, as you point out, Wes Anderson leaves a better, lasting impression.

  2. shit. now i’m thinking i gave it too much credit. damn you traytray!! 🙂

  3. […] has always been something that just “grinds my gears,” (see my temper tantrum about  Garden State) because it completely forgets the audience.  Much like the chef who cooks a meal based on how it […]

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